Arranging child custody can be challenging. In order to ensure that the needs of the child are fulfilled, having a parenting plan is crucial. Apart from this, having such a plan is also important so that both parents can understand their roles and responsibilities. In order to develop this plan, they usually use mediation. During mediation, both parents can meet to make the decisions that are best for the child.
Talking about mediation and parenting plans, it is better for you to prepare a comprehensive checklist. Keep reading the post to find the things that you have to consider.
Definition of Child Custody Mediation
Child custody mediation is described as a meeting between both parents of the child and a neutral party called mediator. The main purpose of the mediation is to facilitate the parents so that they can discuss what is best for their child. In the meeting, they will develop a parenting plan that writes down the care arrangements for the child.
Definition of Parenting Plan
A parenting plan refers to a document that is made and agreed by the parents of a child that is still considered a minor. This one is approved by the court or established by them in case there is no agreement between the parents. In this document, the relationship between the parents regarding the child or children will be governed. Some issues that are addressed may include health care, education, time-sharing schedule, physical, social of the child or children, and some other things.
Child Custody Mediation Checklist
Before going to a child custody mediation, you should think of what you will discuss in the meeting later. Here are some ideas for you to include in the discussion:
1. Parenting time
Parenting time is another name of visitation. It is when the parent with no physical custody gets the chance to spend time with the child or children. When creating a visitation schedule, a few things may be involved, including work schedules and the schedules of the child or children.
2. Transitions of custody
Picking up and dropping off the child also has to be discussed in the child custody mediation. It can take place in one of the parents’ homes. If the parents are not on good terms, just choose a neutral place.
3. Costs of sharing custody
In some cases, sharing custody may have expenses. For instance, when the parents live far away from each other, it may not be cheap to get to and from their place to the other one. That’s why it is important to have an agreement on how the expenses will be paid.
4. Holidays and birthdays
Birthdays may happen when the child is with one of the parents only. It means the other parent will not be able to celebrate it with the child, which can be sad for not only the parent but also for the child. To fix the issue, you can divide birthdays each year. If possible, both parents celebrate the birthday of the child together. Same thing goes for holidays.
5. School vacations
It will be needed for both parents to talk about what the child or children will do and who will take care of them when they are on school vacation. It is really important, especially in cases where both parents work. The child or children may have to attend camps or they may have to be at home during the school vacations.
6. Schedule modifications
Things may not go as planned and both parents should think about these situations. For instance, a child is sick or one of the parents is sick or has to go abroad when it is their turn to take care of the child or children. In this case, both parties should talk about the possibility of modifying a schedule.
7. Communication
For the sake of your child or children, you and the other parent should communicate with each other, even though you two are not on good terms. Forget about the beef between you two when talking about your child or children. Remember it is not about you or the other parent but about them. Feel free to use any type of communication, including text, phone call, or other things.
8. Dispute resolution
If there is something that you and other parents disagree with in the future, try to find a way to resolve it. In this case, you and another party may want to choose someone from a family member to be a tie breaker. If mediation does not work, court may be a good option.
9. Medical needs
Children need medical or health care because they will not always be healthy. Talk with the other parent on the day of mediation regarding their medical needs.
10. Third-party involvement
In the life of the child or children, the third party may be involved, such as their grandparents, uncles, aunts, step parents, or so on. This should be discussed in the child custody mediation.
11. Travel
In case the child or children need to travel with only one of the parents, the guidelines should be discussed in the child custody mediation.
12. Discipline
It is not easy to discipline the child or children. Everyone has their own way to do it. Sometimes, an issue may occur when they are disciplined differently. It is the reason why both parents need to agree on how they will discipline their beloved child or children.
13. Taxes
During the meeting with the other parent and the mediator, you can talk about the one that will claim the child on tax returns.
14. Expenses
Raising a child or children needs money. It is one of the most important things that you need to talk with the other parent during the child custody mediation as financial is a sensitive thing.
15. Special issue
In some circumstances, such as if one of the parents is abusive toward someone, is it needed for the parenting time to be supervised? If a supervisor is needed, who is best to be the one? Is it a trusted family member or trained personnel at a court-approved facility?
16. Revisions
Some things may change. In this case, parenting plans may also need to be changed. during the mediation, talk how often it will be reviewed and updated.
Aside from what to discuss, you should also think about what to bring to child custody mediation. Usually, the mediator will give you a list of things to bring. However, you can also ask them or ask your lawyer. Check out the examples of the things that you need to bring below:
Court documents
For anyone who has filed a petition for custody in court, make sure to bring a copy of it. Besides, you should also take any related documents with you. In addition, do not forget to also bring every single paperwork related to your divorce and custody.
Your proposed parenting plan
If you have written about the things that you will talk about in child custody mediation, bring the note. Do not hesitate to show it to the other parent and a mediator. Do not be afraid of getting rejected. Just try it.
Your calendar
You have your own life, meaning you have your own schedule. Bring it with you so that you can arrange the meetings between you and your child or children and between them with the other parent.
Your child’s school calendar
Bring the school calendar of your child or children to the child custody mediation to shows the days off, early dismissal days, parent-teacher conference days, important field trips, and so on. If you already get the schedule for the next school year, take it with you too.
Your child’s extracurricular calendar
If your child or children participate or plan to participate in extracurricular activities, take note about everything, especially regarding the schedule. On the day of the child custody mediation, bring this note to discuss.
Contract information
Make sure to bring the contact information of important people and important places for your child or children, such as emergency contacts, babysitters, their schools, doctors, and so on.
Directions to the meeting
If you are the one that will attend the child custody mediation, you should know how to get to the place where the meeting will be held. Besides, you also need to find out how long it will take for you to arrive at the site. If you bring your own vehicle, do not forget to find out where to park before the meeting so that you will not come late.
Payment for the mediator
Some mediators need to be paid. Before the meeting, ask the mediator about how to pay them. After that, talk to the other parent to share the fees. If mediation service is free because it is ordered by court, for example, you do not need to think about this.
A good physical
Mediation may take hours because there are a lot of things to discuss. Since it also involves emotion, it can not only make you tired physically but also mentally. A day before the meeting, make sure to sleep early so that you can get up with a fresh body on the day of the meeting. In case the mediator does not provide drinks and foods for you and it is also hard for you to get them, bring them from home.
The right mindset
It is important for you and the other parent to bring the right mindset to the child custody mediation because without it there will be no agreement. Forget about the fight between you two and think only what is best for your child or children. Be open minded and be patient and focus on the thing that is good for everyone.
Bottom Line
In conclusion, going through a child custody mediation can be nerve-wrecking for those who are involved. However, everything will be fine with the right preparation, guidance, and mindset. By preparing this checklist and addressing each item during mediation, both parents can work together to create a plan that is in the best interest of their child. It is worth noting that the child or children should be the main priority. So, set aside your ego during the mediation.
